if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
