i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
