What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize