I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
