So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
