Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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