Even the bartender felt bad for me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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