How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
why does every cop we meet know your name?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
