Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
In other news, I just burned my penis
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
