She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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