there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
