im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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