very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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