Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
