why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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