I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
