You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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