STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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