i may or may not be watching the land before time
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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