Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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