You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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