uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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