OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
