Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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