I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my being single is dangerous.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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