Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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