I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
