What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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