I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize