in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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