I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
