Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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