is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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