Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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