"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she looked like the before picture.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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