have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
