Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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