She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
