Swine flu. Run for my life!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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