The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
