Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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