i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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