At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
