question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
