This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
