Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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