She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
