i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
