So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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