he thought i was a dude.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
