everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize