at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
