I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
