i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How external is "for external use only"?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
