Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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