"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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