I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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