jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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