does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
