Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Vodka?
Forever.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
