Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
