I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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