apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
