Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
