There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize