i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do vagina's smell?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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