haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
