So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
