so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You are a genius and a whore.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize