Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
