and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
