dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
is that a dick in a sweater?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
