You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
