So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
